March 31, 2009 Transcript
"I Really Don't Want to See You Self-Destruct"

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Ethan: Welcome to the Haunted Star. Can I get you a drink? You look like a Woman who would enjoy a slouching satyr.

Alexis: Who are you and what have you done with Luke?

Ethan: Luke's on an errand right now. He'll be back momentarily. In the meantime, Ethan Lovett, at your service.

Alexis: Hi, Ethan. Since when did Luke hire a new bartender?

Ethan: It was a few weeks ago. You should come around here more often, a lovely lady like yourself.

Alexis: Ethan, you're very charming.

Ethan: Ah, well, it's part of the job description. You know, you chat up the customers in the hopes they'll stick around long enough to drop a few bucks on the gaming tables.

Alexis: I assume that Luke is happy with your services?

Ethan: I haven't been fired yet. So how abut that satyr?

Alexis: If you make a martini, the answer is yes.

Ethan: All right, coming right up. You seem like a Woman of class with a razor-sharp wit.

Alexis: You're very perceptive, Ethan.

Ethan: I'm honest, too. You have many attractive qualities, Miss, um --

Alexis: Davis. But you can call me Alexis.

Ethan: Alexis. Martini.

Alexis: Thank you.

Ethan: I hope you like it dirty.

Alexis: Oh, uh -- I'm not sure what to say to that. Thank you.

Luke: You might want to reconsider whatever devious plot you've devised, dodge. This esteemed Woman is Port Charles' district attorney.

Luke: Natasha, lovely to see you.

Alexis: Hey, Luke.

Luke: Do me a favor. Check your wallet.

Alexis: Why? What for?

Luke: Just -- just humor me.

Alexis: It's in there, Luke.

Luke: Okay.

Alexis: My purse has been sitting here the whole time. It's right here.

Luke: All right.

Alexis: What have you done? What have you done?

Ethan: Your wallet's gone walkabout? Well, I'll be stuffed. That's -- where could it -- where could it be? I don't know. Uh, let's see. Oh, there it is. You must have dropped it.

Alexis: Maybe it just hopped out of my purse and just decided to walk on the ground for a while.

Ethan: That's definitely possible.

Alexis: Mm.

Luke: So, dodger, make yourself useful now and go bring up that new box of bourbon from the back.

Ethan: I did it.

Luke: Oh, you did? Good man. How about the whiskey? If you've already done that, I suggest you make some kind of excuse to get your larcenous butt out of here before the D.A. decides to take a set of your fingerprints over to her friends at the PCPD.

Ethan: You know, now that you mention it, there is something I need to take care of.

Alexis: So you've hired yourself a nice-looking con man in the making, eh?

Luke: I have finally found a pupil who wants to learn what I have to teach.

Alexis: He's shameless. Which is why you like him.

Luke: You know me too well. So what brings you here, besides the martinis?

Alexis: Just procrastinating.

Luke: Really? Office politics or is upholding the law becoming a yoke around your neck that is too burdensome to bear?

Alexis: It's never a yoke around my neck. It's a tight choker of diamonds. And I'm just avoiding having to deal with my nephew Nikolas.

Ethan: Are you ready for round two?

Alexis: It appears that I'm getting it anyway.

Ethan: Well, this one's on the house. A little incentive for you to grace the Haunted Star with your presence again. I'm sure the proprietor will agree.

Luke: Absolutely. Um, Ethan, see that black scarf there? Lulu left it here. Would you return it to her? Clover Avenue, 114, apartment 68.

Ethan: Now?

Luke: Mm-hmm, now. I'll cover for you.

Ethan: Okay. I'm here to serve.

Alexis: Thank God. He's cute, but I can't afford to lose anything else. I'm worried enough already.

Luke: So tell me, what has your nephew done that's got you so angst-ridden?

Alexis: He's completely obsessed with that Woman that looks alarmingly like Emily.

Luke: Looks like her? She's a dead ringer, pardon the pun.

Alexis: Rebecca -- you've met her, yes?

Luke: Yeah, I met her at the Quartermaine’s. You should have seen Edward and Monica when she walked in. They were ready to adopt her right on the spot.

Alexis: Do you trust her?

Luke: Hell no. But then of course, I see the swindler in everybody. What's your take on this doppelganger?

Alexis: Well, it's odd, don't you think? We know she's not Emily, right?

Luke: Right.

Alexis: Nikolas assures me that he knows how to discern between the two of them.

Luke: Well, Nikolas wants Emily back so badly, he would take Rebecca as second best.

Alexis: You should have seen him at Kelly’s. I mean, he was so mesmerized by her that he couldn't even carry on a conversation. He wouldn't let anyone wait on him unless it was this Rebecca. And then as soon as Lucky started chatting with Rebecca, Nikolas got so jealous he was going to explode.

Luke: Wow. He's that far gone?

Alexis: Nikolas is the normal Cassadine. He's the reasonable, thoughtful, kind member among a highly dysfunctional family, and now he's turning into a nutcase like Stefan and Stavros. And I feel like I need to save him from what is clearly a genetic predisposition.

Nikolas: Alexis, what an unexpected surprise.

Alexis: Don't get mad. Alfred called. He's very worried about you. He thought that I would be worried, too, because he said Rebecca is here -- and I am.

Nikolas: I understand that you are, but there's no need to be. Brandy?

Alexis: No, thank you. We're family, right? We're it. We're all we got, so we have to be able to talk to each other, tell each other anything. And I want to say this very delicately, but there is a long history of mental illness and obsession in the Cassadine family.

Nikolas: I'm aware of all of that.

Alexis: You're aware that your father was so obsessed with your mother that he imprisoned her, right?

Nikolas: Alexis, I'm a long way from kidnapping Rebecca and forcing her to bear my child.

Alexis: Nikolas, you're following her around like a stalker. It's making her uncomfortable.

Nikolas: Things have changed.

Alexis: That's rationalizing, which is a sign. This is a very predictable pattern, and I really don't want to see you self-destruct.

Nikolas: You don't understand. She may have breast cancer.

Nikolas: I was with Rebecca at Mercy when she was having a mammogram and found out she needs a biopsy.

Alexis: You don't think this is beyond coincidence?

Nikolas: Look, I'm in a unique position to help her right now because I understand what she's going through.

Alexis: Well, I think it's ill advised for you to help her with this potential bout of cancer.

Nikolas: I'll be the judge.

Alexis: You don't even know her, Nikolas. You're going to go through this ordeal with a Woman you don't even know? I mean, the treatments, the diagnosis --

Nikolas: I appreciate your concern, I do, but I am well aware of what I'm doing.

Alexis: I disagree. I think that the lines between you and Rebecca are already blurred, and I'm concerned they're just going to disappear.

Nikolas: Don't imply that I could project the kind of feelings that I had for Emily, the kind of love, onto someone else.

Alexis: Would you be paying this much attention to Rebecca if she didn't look exactly like Emily?

Nikolas: The way she looks isn't the point. I've grown fond of her. I like her.

Alexis: Okay, so are you sure that you're not seeing some potential because of Rebecca's breast cancer that she's somehow related to Emily?

Nikolas: Stop it. I really don't care about your analysis, okay? And I don't give a damn if it's advisable. Rebecca's vulnerable right now, and she's potentially fighting for her life. I will see her through this.