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April
16, 2009 Transcript Helena: Well, this house has witnessed many remarkable things, but this -- your friend couldn't look more like Emily if she had been designed that way. Helena: Well, apparently, the only resemblance between Rebecca and Emily is skin-deep. Now this one is crude. Emily at least had a modicum of good breeding, but this one is foolishly antagonistic. Rebecca: Oh. Hey, you, don't just walk away, and don't talk about me like I'm not in the room .Even better, don't talk about me at all, since you don't know the first thing about me. Nikolas: Rebecca -- Rebecca: No, I don't care. I'm not going to be cowed by this Woman. I mean, I realize that she's your little grandmother and this is your house, but where does she get off insulting me? Helena: You can't possibly be this obtuse. Do you honestly think that a Woman with your lack of style and class could interest my grandson if you weren't a carbon copy of his dead fiancée? And if not for that unfortunate coincidence, the only way you would be in this house is if you were hired on as kitchen help. Alexis: It must be snowing in hell. For once, Helena and I agree. Helena: Why, Natasha. Alexis: Helena. Helena: It's been so long. Alexis: Not long enough. Rebecca: Natasha? I thought her name was Alexis. Nikolas: It's a long story. Helena: Of which our family has many. Unfortunately, the happy ending proves elusive. Alexis: I didn't want you to be alone for phase two of whatever she's contemplating. Rebecca: Okay, maybe I'm not in the room. Alexis: Oh, you most certainly are, and your timing is fascinating. Nikolas gets threatened publicly by a psychotic relative, and instead of a normal person, who would run for their lives in another direction, you are right here by his side. Rebecca: Maybe my invisibility has affected my hearing. I missed the part where you got so mad at me. Helena: Oh, don't take it personally, my dear. Alexis is mad at the world, perpetually ill-tempered, a most disagreeable child. Alexis: Actually, she's kind of right about that. I don't buy your act, and you're about as subtle as a freight train. Nikolas: All right, look, if we're all done sniping at each other, just tell me what I have to do to send you back where you came from. Helena: You have something of mine. It's locked in a vault at a local bank. Nikolas: I have no idea what you're talking about. Alexis: You're not supposed to. The more confusing, the better. Helena: It's a painting. Nikolas: A what? So this whole thing -- whatever, a painting of what, of who? Alexis: You expect us to believe that you came out of hiding and made that over the top entrance just for a painting? Helena: Well, it has sentimental value. Nikolas: What painting is it? Helena: It's an icon portrait of Saint Gregory. Alexis: It's important to her because she's very, very religious. Don't give it to her. Helena: Oh, Alexis, another of your many flaws. No generosity of spirit. Nikolas: Why that painting? Helena: Oh, Nikolas. Can't I have my secrets? Nikolas: No, you can't. Not while you're standing here in my home wanting something from me. Helena: Very well. The artist painted it for me. I have such fond memories of watching him apply the gold leaf. Stark naked, illuminated by a blinding shaft of sunlight in my sitting room. Do you want me to continue? Nikolas: No, I don't. Helena: You know, I could have stolen the painting. But I came here and I asked for it nicely. But know this. I intend to have my property. And until I do, my darling, your ships will sink in the harbor, your trucks will crash, and your business deals will fall apart before your eyes. Now, why not avoid all of this suffering for your hapless employees and give me what I want? Alexis: You realize this isn't just about art. Or artist appreciation. There's always an agenda with her. We just have to figure out what it is. Helena: You don't want to tangle with me, Alexis. Unlike Nikolas, I do not have a soft spot in my heart for you. On the contrary, it would give me great pleasure to silence you for good. Nikolas: I'll give you the painting. Helena: I knew you'd see reason. Rebecca: Reason? You just threatened to destroy Nikolas' business. Helena: And how does that concern you, my dear? Rebecca: Well, if you've really got to know, he's my friend, and I don't appreciate watching you trying to intimidate him. Helena: You would be well-advised to speak when spoken to. Say the wrong thing, and someone might be inspired to cut out your tongue. Rebecca: I'd like to see you try. Helena: Really? Nikolas: You don't need to threaten her. I already told you I'd I've you the painting. I just need a few days to find the paperwork to the safety deposit box. Helena: Well, don't dawdle. Who knows what trouble I could get up to with too much time on my hands? I'm sure our paths will cross again. Alexis, try some collagen. You're not aging well. Nikolas, your mother seems to be doing quite well at her clinic in France. Rebecca: What a horror show. Alexis: Oh, well done. You're almost as accomplished as she is. Rebecca: Meaning? Alexis: You're Helena’s plant. Rebecca: Is Alexis speaking for you, too? You think I'm partnered up with your loony grandmother in some evil plot against you? Alexis: You mean like finding someone who resembles Emily, and then having her touched up by the best plastic surgeon that money can buy? You are on the hook for God knows what. Rebecca: I'm starting to think that you're about as whacked as the old broad. I have never had surgery in my life. And I'm not some part of some evil plot with Helena. I've never seen her before tonight, and I hope I never see that witch again. You know what, you were right. You're family's insane. I don't need insanity in my life. Alexis: She wants you to run after her. Don't do it.
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