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May
28, 2009 Transcript
"Who's
Spanky? Who's Dodger? Who's English?"
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scenes here
Luke:
You're making a big mistake here. I want to see my attorney.
Holly:
This is outrageous. I didn't steal anything from anybody --
[Luke
laughs]
Holly:
Lately.
Luke:
Natasha, tell your goons to set us loose, will you? You know I only
do the handcuff thing for fun and games.
Alexis:
Riley, what did he do this time?
Tracy:
Allow me. I'd like to bring charges against Miss Sutton. The gentleman
is, and I use the word advisedly, innocent.
Riley:
But he's her accomplice. They were together in the hotel.
Tracy:
So you cheated on me with her after she told you she played you
for a fool? Even your precious dodger can see right through her.
Alexis:
Who's dodger?
Luke:
I didn't go to her room for sex. I went for information.
Holly:
We were having a lovely chat until you decided to send in local
law enforcement. I'd like to speak to Commissioner Scorpio, please.
He'll understand that I've been framed.
Alexis:
Framed for what?
Tracy:
Actually, she tried to extort money from me and my husband, and
when we refused, she stole my sapphire necklace.
Holly:
That's absurd.
Tracy:
It's missing.
Luke:
Did you check the bottom of the mattress?
Tracy:
I had no idea when the police went to arrest her that they would
discover my husband there.
Luke:
Look, Spanky, English already told us that the dodger is not mine.
You got what you wanted. Why are you pushing this?
Alexis:
Wait. Hold it. Who's Spanky? Who's dodger?
Who's English?
Luke:
All right, let me explain this to you, Natasha.
Riley:
Who's Natasha?
Luke:
My wife, fueled by jealousy and pugnacious pride, is about to clog
up your docket with a bunch of false accusations. You can flush
it all away by refusing to press charges and just sending us home.
Alexis:
Here is what I am going to say as D.A. It really bugs me when people
file false charges.
Holly:
Mac, my favorite former brother-in-law. Your timing's impeccable.
Can you sort this out, please?
Mac:
I'm surprised to see you Holly, and you seem to be handcuffed.
Holly:
Yeah, things have gotten a little complicated.
Mac:
I bet. Well, whatever trouble you're in, I know Robin will be thrilled
to see you.
Holly:
Robin's back?
Riley:
You are free to go.
Tracy:
Try to look grateful, Luke.
Luke:
I'll look grateful when you drop the phony charges against Holly.
Tracy:
Miss Sutton stole my sparkling sapphire stones, and I want her prosecuted
to the fullest extent of the law. Oh, deportation works for me.
Luke:
You know, Natasha, before you start building that case against Miss
Sutton, you might want to talk to me because I have some very interesting
information about possible future litigation.
Alexis:
Please don't come back. May I recommend therapy?
Luke:
If you're here to arrest me, could you just hang on long enough
for me to get hammered so that I don't actually fold in the middle?
Alexis:
When I left the station, Holly and Tracy were bitch-slapping each
other. We were going to throw them in the cage, but it was full.
Alexis:
Did you really think that Ethan was your son?
Luke:
Yeah, I still do. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I just want him to be.
Maybe I'm just a ridiculous old fool. But between my jealous wife
and the disreputable Miss Sutton, it's really hard to know which
end is up these days.
Alexis:
You know, for a guy who never really wanted kids in the first place,
it's ironic that you're this eager for a third.
Luke:
Yeah, I know it is, but I guess I've changed. Near-death experiences,
living with a broken, damaged heart after two or three coronaries
I guess will do that to you.
Alexis:
Oh, I get that. I mean, being faced with your own mortality does
make you shift your priorities.
Luke:
You know, my first tango with the grim reaper, he danced all over
my feet. And now it seems like all I'm left with is this constant,
nagging notion that the best of everything is behind me. Lost youth,
lost opportunity, and now I see nothing ahead but limited possibilities
and limited time. I don't know, maybe I'm just -- maybe I'm just
really loving the idea of having a kid who actually likes me, who
looks up to me instead of down on me. Maybe I like the idea of having
a kid who wants to hang out with me because he thinks that I can
teach him something important. Maybe I needed that and didn't realize
it.
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