June 3, 2009 Transcript
"I'm a Bad Idea"

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Elizabeth: You know that deal you made with Rebecca and Nikolas? No sexual contact for two weeks while you had her investigated?

Alexis: I should have been a little more specific.

Elizabeth: Yeah, I'm guessing you haven't found anything.

Alexis: Not yet. But I will.

Elizabeth: You see what Rebecca's doing, don't you?

Alexis: Making a fool out of my nephew?

Elizabeth: Well, yes, but look at her. What's different?

Alexis: Hair's the same. At least she's not wearing light blue today.

Elizabeth: So you've seen the Emily impersonation, too?

Alexis: I was at Wyndemere. When I walked in, she was wearing this light blue top that looked like it had just come right out of Emily’s closet.

Elizabeth: Lucky and I saw her after she got back from sailing, and she just managed to get herself wet and took off all of her makeup and was wearing one of Emily’s robes.

Alexis: See, that's it. She's not wearing all that eye makeup anymore.

Elizabeth: She's trying to look like Emily.

Alexis: That's great. And my nephew is falling for it.

Elizabeth: Yeah, well, she needs to be stopped.

Rebecca: Hi, ladies. So where would you like me to work so that you can get the best view? I know you were looking at me before, and you're welcome to eavesdrop anytime.

Alexis: No, I'll wait for the warrant for that.

Rebecca: I haven't broken any laws and I don't plan to -- as disappointing as that may be, Alexis.

Elizabeth: You know, going after Nikolas isn't just cruel, it's bizarre.

Rebecca: Do you know what's bizarre? That you both want Nikolas to remain faithful to a dead Woman.

Alexis: You asked me to lunch. It's past lunchtime.

Agent Rayner: I have a good excuse.

Alexis: Do tell.

Agent Rayner: Just as I was leaving, one of my agents came up with some excellent information on Rebecca Shaw.

[Alexis gasps]

Alexis: Hand it over.

Agent Rayner: That depends on how our date goes.

Alexis: Date?

Agent Rayner: Wine list, please.

Alexis: Hmm, a drinkable white wine, a nice salad, spring greens -- love those. Entree is coming any minute. Yeah, that constitutes a date. Now, tell me everything you know about Rebecca Shaw.

Agent Rayner: Tell me about yourself.

Alexis: Oh, God, really?

Agent Rayner: Mm-hmm.

Alexis: Okay, I guess I have to because my nephew's future depends on it, right?

Agent Rayner: I understand.

Alexis: I already told you that I have terrible taste in men -- really bad. Seriously bad. Frightening.

Agent Rayner: Do I qualify, I wonder?

Alexis: Are you a homicidal maniac?

Agent Rayner: No.

Alexis: Well, there, you lose.

Agent Rayner: You have at least one child.

Alexis: Yes, the one that you tried to keep her P.I. license from.

Agent Rayner: And you have a child by Sonny Corinthos.

Alexis: Oh, God, yes, all right? I do. I have another one with his brother, okay? Let me tell you, if you even remotely have any interest in me, I am suggesting that you consider the fate of the ones that went before, and it isn't pretty, all right? I'm a bad idea. I strongly suggest that you don't walk -- run.

Agent Rayner: My personal life has been a bit chaotic as well, but I'm not a homicidal maniac.

Alexis: Darn, and things were going so well. I really need that information now on Rebecca Shaw.

Agent Rayner: As of this afternoon, I've discovered that Ms. Shaw was illegally adopted. She is a black market baby.