June 15, 2009 Transcript
"It's All Fun and Games Until Somebody is Dead"

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Michael: You realize you almost just hit that guy.

Kristina: He was in my lane. Lucky for us, I have lightning-fast reflexes.

Michael: All right. Now all you have to do is keep the steering wheel straight.

Kristina: Excuse me? I'm an excellent driver.

Michael: Right. That's why the guy's face was frozen with terror. I actually think he was screaming. Are you sure you don't want me to drive?

Kristina: I'm the one with the learner's permit, remember?

Michael: Yeah, their learner's permits are supposed to drive with someone who's 21 and has their driver's license. So either way we're breaking the law.

[Car horn blares]

Kristina: Watch where you're going. Talk about road rage.

Michael: Your driving really is creative.

Kristina: You want creative?

Michael: Go for it. Maybe next time you can drive us off a cliff.

[Engine revs]

Alexis: Hi, Coleman.

ColeMan: Ms. Davis. How are you doing?

Alexis: I'm all right. How are you?

ColeMan: Good, good.

Alexis: What are the chances of getting a glass of pinot noir?

ColeMan: You know what? It just so happens that I have an excellent pinot from a California vineyard.

Alexis: Ooh. That's a good bottle.

ColeMan: Nice.

Alexis: You have very good taste.

ColeMan: I appreciate that. You know, I'm just looking to appeal to my more upscale clients, such as yourself.

Alexis: Well -- Chopin?

ColeMan: "Show" what?

Alexis: It's very classy, Coleman. I'm going to sit at the table, and I'm going to take the bottle.

ColeMan: Please do. Damn. Sell it, Liberace.

Diane: I was so thrilled to get your call. Much as I'm loving my evenings with Max, it has been ages since you and I had a proper girls' night out. With the boys.

Alexis: I got us a pinot, is that all right?

Diane: Brilliant. Oh, what a lovely way to start. Is that Chopin?

Alexis: Yes, Coleman is trying to class up the joint.

Diane: It's a little like putting a bowtie on a dockworker. But I suppose that's part of the appeal. Okay, I have a confession to make.

Alexis: What's that?

Diane: When I got your call, I raced home just so I could put on my Neela Llorente slingbacks and watch you drool. Behold.

Alexis: They're really nice.

Diane: You're not drooling. Why aren't you drooling? Could it be because your own sassy little pair of pumps are just as adorable? Where did you get those?

Alexis: I didn't ask you here to talk about shoes tonight. It's business. And I'm concerned. I think you should drop your malpractice suit against Dr. Hunter.

Kristina: My mother's not here, and no, you can't wait for her. You're a known criminal. You shouldn't be at the D.A.'s house.

Jason: The D.A.'s underage daughter shouldn't be at clubs drinking, smoking weed, or driving without a license either.

Kristina: I can't believe Michael told you.

Jason: He didn't. He showed up at Sonny's. It's too far for him to walk from Carly's, so I came over here, I checked the car. The engine's warm, Alexis isn't here, your housekeeper's not here. So that leaves you.

Kristina: I could explain this all to my mother. I already told her how you dragged me out of that club when I was there to help a friend.

Jason: What about the joint?

Kristina: Do you still have it? Then I guess it's your word against mine. And my mom will take my side.

Jason: What about the fact you drove without a license?

Kristina: You're going to bust me by telling her? What are you, my keeper?

Jason: Just answer the question.

Kristina: I'll say I felt sorry for my poor brother who just got out of the hospital and really needed a ride. I'll promise never to do it again.

Jason: But you will.

Kristina: Why do you care? Why can't you just leave me alone?

Jason: Because your father is my closest friend. I see you out in clubs drinking, you're fooling around with drugs -- I get concerned.

Kristina: Stop making me sound like I'm some pathetic loser. I get straight A's. My life is under control.

Jason: Not from what I've seen.

Kristina: I'm fine. Mom doesn't need to know about any of this. How about cutting me some slack and letting me make my own choices?

[Jason sighs]

[Johnny plays Chopin]

Diane: I have absolutely no sympathy for our very married mayor. If he didn't want to get caught, he shouldn't have been in a hotel room playing mattress tag with his secretary.

Alexis: I agree. It was inexcusable.

Diane: And sleazy and sordid.

Alexis: All of the above. But then again, he couldn't have known that she would hit her head on the shower and pass out.

Diane: It's still despicable behavior. Of course, it would have been much easier to really hate him if he didn't have that noble nose and those Bermuda blue eyes. The insatiable bastard -- but, look, it's all fun and games until somebody is dead.

Alexis: And that if this does get out, certainly Floyd's career will be ruined.

Diane: Alexis, he has material evidence on the case. I have to subpoena him.

Alexis: Like I said, that would be awful for him, and worse, his wife.

Diane: Would it really be so awful if our illustrious Mayor Floyd stepped down and took his loose zipper with him -- and you ran for mayor?

[Alexis sighs]

[Diane clears throat]

Diane: And there he is now, Dr. Matt Hunter.

[Diane laughs]

Diane: He doesn't look old enough to drive, let alone cut into someone's brain.

Alexis: Well, you can't sue Dr. Hunter for being young.

Diane: How about for being inexperienced?

Alexis: Brianna Hughes' family is obviously grief-stricken. And understandably, they want to find some way to lash out.

Diane: Appropriately so. Brianna Hughes died unnecessarily. This lawsuit will ensure that future patients don't suffer unnecessarily at Dr. Hunter's hands.