June 18, 2009 Transcript
"Your Brother's Got a Hole in His Head"

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Kiefer: Two beers.

Bartender: You'll need I.D. for that. And the girl's.

Kiefer: Isn't life better now that you have a fake I.D.?

Kristina: As long as I don't get caught.

Kiefer: Oh, no. The guy who made them says that cops can't even tell the difference.

Kristina: For what we paid, I hope so.

Michael: Good thing it's me, or you would be so busted.

Kristina: Look who's talking. This is my brother, Michael.

Kiefer: The one with the brain damage? I didn't think they'd let you out alone.

[Thunder rumbles]

Kiefer: Hey, where's your nurse hiding?

Michael: I don't have a nurse.

Kristina: Knock it off, Kiefer.

Kiefer: Oh, yeah? Who wipes up the drool?

Kristina: You're not funny.

Kiefer: Come on, K. Your brother's got a hole in his head, literally.

Michael: At least I have an excuse. You were born a dumbass.

Kiefer: Ooh --

Kristina: Michael, chill out.

Kiefer: Yeah, mike, chill, man. You don't want to have a seizure or wet your pants. Or start crying.

Michael: Come on, Kristina, let's go.

Kristina: Michael! Michael, are you okay? Michael, are you okay? Michael?